Zombie Haiku

Argh, nngh, arrgh, brains, argh
Brains, argh, nnnngh, arrgh, brains argh brains
Nngh brains argh braaaaaaains argh

Insomnity

Vacuums inside two blue-green marbles;
bolts of crimson shoot through swollen eyes like forked lightning.
No sleep again last night; not hard to tell
for crusts of sand have barely formed, still liquid in nature.
He wipes them away in a single sweep and suddenly he can see me.

He scowls at me and looks like he's about to die.
Splashes of water on the face only add to the idea that he is
a hung over and burned out husk of a man.
He wonders if he should comb the mess on his head
but decides against it. There's no point because it's only cosmetic.
He lies to himself that he'd shave it off if he didn't burn
like an albino on the surface of Sol.

A cough, then a blink, then a sniff, then a groan.
The battle against insomnia commences once more.
I remove my hands from the sides of the sink and shift
my weight back onto my feet.
I shuffle out the door, consoled in the fact that
at least I didn't look as bad as that guy.

Canus Demonicus

Looking out through blind white eyes,
he knows not what we see.
Sam the zombie dog.
He is not made of beef.

Ugliest dog in the world; he won
that contest hands down. It’s hard
to imagine anything more horrible
than that oversized rat.

With thin hammy ears, decayed
yellow teeth like those of a dying
man who smoked all his years
and skin like a rotting chicken breast,
The hell hound plans his attack.

First he will enter the ugly dog pageants,
then the time will come. He will
call forth the demon dogs
and bring doom upon us all.

He’s an alien, a harbinger of death.
Proof that the world is weird and gross.
Wonders like this are best left unknown.
Now I have to find a bucket.

---

I wrote a poem about Sam the Ugly Dog for my creative writing class. I hadn't heard that he had died until after I wrote this.
Goodbye, Sam. You will be missed, but thank f*ck we don't have to look at you anymore.